Happy Ever After?

Happy ever after? What is it? Does it even exist? Well, the answer to that question varies from person to person. But one thing is sure; nobody has complete happiness or complete sadness in their life. There are tough, dark moments and bad phases in one’s life but nobody is made to suffer through their entire lifetime; life isn't that cruel.

Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it eludes you but if you stop and wait patiently it slowly comes and sits on your shoulder. We are doltish; we don’t realize what or who makes us happy till the time we lose them, till the time they have left us. And then it’s too late to do something about it.

People who make you give your genuine smile are the ones who are to be treasured. I’m not saying that people who make you laugh are not the ones to be treasured; no they are important but then even a clown can make you laugh. The person who makes you feel good about yourself, who can bring out the best in you are the ones who are to be treasured; they are the ones who give you happiness.

Yes, maybe once in a while we can be wrong in our judgment and maybe be betrayed by the people we love, but that doesn't mean that we give up hope. We need to fight for what it’s worth. Suffering in one’s life is not permanent. It’s just a lesson to be learnt for life. The lessons learnt from those experiences are something that can’t be taught in schools or learnt by-heart through books; they can only be felt by being intimate with them. Till the time you don’t fight in a battle and get wounded, you will never know of the pain the soldiers suffer.

Happiness is not something that can be achieved, it can only be received. 

Life of a Young Girl -Part2.

She lay there on a messy bed, in an unkempt room.

Dressed in baggy clothes --uncared for;
Hair in an untidy bun --careless gesture;
Bags under eyes indicating sleepless nights --untended;
A fading smile --unconcerned about;
Shivering hands and quivering legs --unconscious about;
Scars on her body --unseen;
Fresh wounds on her mind --overlooked;
Suffering from an aching soul --uninterested about;
A broken heart --disregarded.

She lay there staring at the ceiling, numerous things were running in her head and her thoughts were flying at the speed of a jet. She thought hours had passed since that incessant flow of water continued to leak out of her eyes, but it was just minutes ago that, that cascade had started to fall.

Her condition was deteriorating from bad to worse. You could see it in her eyes, the lust to smile, the desire to soak in the warmth of someone’s company, the thirst to utter words of joy, the desperation to hear her laugh reverberate through the room, the yearn to feel her smile illuminate the place.

“I am a lonely girl. I am broken. I am dying to smile. My heart is always aching to cry. But I wasn’t this way. And now here I am and that’s how it will end”, she thought.

She did not want to be forgotten, but there were just memories left with her now.
She did not want to be abandoned, but loneliness is her shelter now.
She did not want to acquaint with the sadness, but that’s her best friend now.

She had isolated herself to fight a concealed battle to vanquish her fears, to subjugate her sadness, to gain victory over her flimsy emotions. Fighting the battle had been a futile attempt. Instead of gathering herself, she is even more broken now.

She is a young girl, and she is slowly dying on the inside.

Friendship Day.

She had to write something for her column in the Times Magazine and it had been hours and six cups of coffee before a memory replayed in her mind. Quickly grabbing a pen and paper, she wrote:

““I can soar higher”, she laughed and said
“No, it’s me. I am higher. I am like the bird”, the other girl said.
And then we laughed and jumped on our sand castle that we had built just a few minutes back.
Looking at the mess we had made and how we were covered in sand, we looked at each other and started laughing.

I closed the album and wiped the tear that I didn’t know had trickled down my cheek. Those were memories, childhood days; times spend with my best-friend.

Friendship is a bond which cannot be defined. It is a mysterious connection that two people share. The love of two friends has no boundaries, it is limitless.

It is very necessary to have friends in our lives not for the reason that we are lonely without them or we long for companionship. No, it is for the reason that we want someone who understands us more than we do, who loves and takes care of us better than we could have; We are the plants and they are the sunshine and rain, without them we won’t function properly, we won’t mature, we won’t grow.

My friends have taught me the meaning of love, respect, affection and most of all TRUST. They have been my constant support and have been there for me whenever I needed them and I have fewer words to express how grateful I am that they chose ME to be their friend.

Friends are the ones who walk that rough path with you, who don’t abandon you during high tides and low tides, who don’t let the crescendos and decrescendos in your life get in the way of their opinion about you; friends are the ones who are there to catch you when you fall; they advice you, irritate you, make fun of you and always cheer you up.

Some people may not believe in friendship day, but I can only say that we all love our friends, care about them and tell them that every day, but it is on this special day that we can actually dedicate a whole day for them, when we can truly express what we feel and what position they hold in our lives.

Cherish each moment with them, because once you grow up these days are not going to return. A stupid band is not sufficient to communicate your emotions. You need more. This day just smile once for your friends because it can make their day and brighten up their week to know they are the reason for that beautiful smile of yours.

Life without friends is like egg without yolk, so everyone please try your best today to express just how much your friends matter to you. Don’t let this opportunity get away.”

After rechecking it twice, she submitted her writing and was proud to find it published the next day.

A different kind of pain.

They say true friendships are forever. But how much of it is really true? Some friends are meant to be for infinity and beyond or forever and always or till the sun shines. Believe it or not and admit it or not once a best friend forever a best friend, because even if you are going through a tensed time, it doesn’t mean your friendship is broken or damaged. It’s just a phase.

Friends are the ones who walk with you on the rough thorn filled paths, they are the candle to your darkness, they are the ones who lighten up your mood and sometimes they are the ones who can even whip that pretty smile off your face.

Certain friends are closer and mean the world to you, but it breaks your heart when they don’t reciprocate the same. It breaks your heart that the person who means so much to you, you hold a very small position in their lives. When you want to feel needed you feel distant. You crave to know what’s happening in their lives, you’re desperate to be there for them, but then the fear of losing them hits you like bricks and you just back off. You can’t even express it to them.

Sometimes you want to pour your heart out to them, but then you realize that they have MANY more friends and you are just not the only one, and even if you want them to be there for you at that moment, you just have to let them go.

It hurts even more when you realize that they are aware of everyone’s emotions but are oblivious to yours. You are on the verge of telling them what’s going through your head, but you end up shutting your mouth and trailing off to another topic. Sometimes you just can’t say it and are too weak to admit it that you miss them and miss the friendship you had. Even if you are still close or say you are still close, why don’t you feel close?

But what happens when you lose the place you used to hold in a certain someone’s life? What happens when you feel like you have been easily replaced by someone else? What happens when you realize you don’t make them happy anymore, when you are not theirs and they are not yours? When you feel empty and lonely without them and even in their presence?

You get that urge to need them back in your life, but sometimes all your attempts fail. Instead of emerging triumphant, you just lose; you lose even the little part of them that belonged to you, in the fear that you don’t lose them.

Feeling and emotional dependence is a really important part of friendship or at least that’s what my friend says. If you have this, your bond is strong and inseparable. But if that one thing is missing or suddenly disappears, I would just say one thing; don’t give up even when your heart wants to, fight for your friendship because even if they may not need you, you need them. Never give up.

Untitled

Have you ever experience the feeling of being lost and forgotten? Feeling lonely and abandoned? Betrayed by your tears and fake smile?

These feelings are not foreign, for some they are very well masked and deep buried and for some they are very superficial. People constantly lead you to believe that you have everyone’s company and support but the fear of being left all alone, looking at the back of the person walking away from you, lingers. You are scared of the past repeating itself, scared that when you need someone the most they will just make a face at you and walk away. Sometime you are scared that by expressing what’s running through your mind you will be portrayed as weak and incapable of handling their emotions, and people will judge you. You are scared that if you constantly let yourself drown in the pool of your sorrows, people will eventually get tired and won’t rescue you.

You want someone to talk to, but you don’t want to burden them with your unnecessary sadness and stupid insecurity problems. But at times you even think that it is highly impossible for someone to understand what you’re going through thus making you feel deserted, again. But letting your feelings out helps reduce the pain and sharing your misery with someone somehow helps bring a smile on your face because you realize you are bugging and irritating the person and just to cheer them up and end the topic, you smile.

I don’t know how to conclude this post, and I don’t know what more to write, so I’ll just see you later alligators.

My Sadness.

Many times people ask me why am I so sad? Why have I lost my chirpy, bubbly nature? Why have I become so weak and vulnerable? Why has that smile disappeared from my face? Why do I now choose sadness over happiness?

Dear alligators, to tell you the truth, even I don’t know the answer to these questions. Maybe it’s because I love to welter away in my sadness and see the negativity in everything; maybe it’s because I finding sadness comforting and it provides me with a shield. I feel sadness is my escape, my sanctuary. It helps me criticize myself, go over my mistakes and improve them, during my darkest times it helps me express. My sadness somehow makes me see and experience things which I can’t see when I am happy. I view people differently, always trying to uncover their mask to know what’s going on deep inside them. When you are sitting in the dark and swaying in the sadness, you get a chance to think.

When I shift into my dark aura mode, my sadness helps tone down my anger because in the end I just take the blame and walk away. My sadness is my knight in the shining armor. Sadness provides me with a sense of relief and when I receive similar signals from someone, someone with the same shadowy bubble around them, I get attracted to them. Know why? Because it’s during that moment you feel you have someone to accompany you on the stranded road and they are the one you can pour your heart out to; because you know they won’t judge, they won’t comment, they won’t give any advice, hell they may not even be listening to you but you know that whatever happens you both are in this together and they will walk that road with you. The feelings you share are mutual.

I won’t say that my smile has left my face completely; it’s just taking a break.

I am not weak; I have just lost the interest to show my strength and my capability.

I am not sad; I am just seeing how it feels to walk that path.

I am not choosing sadness; I am just experiencing the opposite of happiness.

Life of a Young Girl.

Early morning she was heading home from her usual morning walk. But today, something was different.

Each day she walked with the wind and basked in the sun but today she was walking against the wind, under the clouds in the drizzle. After a long time she had decided to take a trip down the road and she was surprised to see the serene peace and emptiness on the road.

She was hypnotized by the sound of drums beating in her ears and was oblivious to the lyrics playing. She was lost in her own thoughts wondering and staring at the gravel crunching beneath her feet.

She was wondering where did she go wrong that today she is in such a condition, suffering to stay happy, craving to bring back joy in her life; she was wondering since when did she find sadness so addictive that now even when she could see a door to happiness awaiting her with open arms, she kicked it shut. She went through her fragile memories which she was preserving to see who she was and what she has become; to check what crime she had committed to have lost everyone. Never had she felt so lonely, never had people wanted to run away from her. Sure, people said that they were there for her but why didn’t anyone ever try to show it to her, prove it to her. She was in a situation where she is always present for everyone but when she needed someone, they would melt into the darkness abandoning her in the somber alley. She did not have words to express the whirlpool of emotions within her and even if she did, she did not have anyone to share it with.

She wondered why she liked to take the blame of everything even when at times it wasn’t her fault.

“I guess it gives me a reason to divulge more into sadness and shed a few tears”, she said.

She was forcing herself to walk up the hill even when she was completely exhausted. Exhausted from the fate of life; exhausted from the relentless attempts to be part of everyone’s lives; exhausted from the feeling of losing herself; she was exhausted of life, she wanted to end it, she wanted to drift away to a peaceful sleep.

And that very moment she found that peace and the lights went out.

Escape

Sometimes all we want to do is escape. Not the one where the characters of a story book escape the grasp of the evil queen. No.

Sometimes you want to genuinely escape. Flee. Abscond. You want to evade the reality, the present, the new tomorrow. You want to leave your past behind because it hasn’t given you any fruitful results and you certainly don’t expect your life to take a new course and bear sweet scented flowers on your path without any thorns. Your road is full of stones, thorns, breaks, falls, intense heat, harsh weathers and what not. But let’s admit it, at least once our hearts have longed to be free; to breathe in the fresh air of freedom, to elope and be married to freedom, to court liberty.

We all want to cut loose all our worldly ties and experience how it feels to bask in the sun without the fear of getting tan, to sit in the balcony and live in the chilly air without having the fear to catch a cold, to walk in the rains without the worry of wetting your clothes. We all want to run away to some place where there is solitude and there is just you and nobody else; where you have the peace of mind and time for yourself.

You have nights to dream about how your life has been and how you can mold it in the future; how much you have already ruined it and how you can now make it a bed of roses; you have those nights where you can just drink a cup of coffee and moan because of its warmth and taste, those nights where you can become a child again and gaze at the moon and star in wonder, in admiration, in awe.

Your escape gains you the privilege to experience those days where you can do what you want and not what you are compelled to do, you get to live the life you always wanted to.  You get to look at the birds hibernating, feeding their young ones, look at their stress free lives, and look at the love in their hearts. You get to familiarize how it feels to let your soul loose and wander away with the wind, swim in the streams, climb mountains, look at the sunsets.

Because it is in this escape that you get to be intimate with your surroundings, you get to apprehend the true you. It is in this escape when you laugh and soar high up in the sky without having the fear to fall.

But all this is when you make an escape and we all are coward to do so. In the end how much ever we don’t want to, we always wake up to reality and all our thoughts to cut and run, comes to a full stop. We wake up to reality. We wake up to the disappointed us.

Our escape is only in our dreams.

Date a girl who writes.

Date a girl who writes.

Find a girl who writes. You’ll know that she has a sense of humor, a sense of empathy and kindness, and that she will dream up worlds, universes for you. She’s the one with the faintest of shadows underneath her eyelids, the one who smells of coffee and Coca-Cola and jasmine green tea. You see that girl hunched over a notebook. That’s the writer. She will never stop, churning out adventures, of traitors and heroes. Darkness and light. Fear and love. That’s the writer.

She’s the girl reading while waiting for her coffee and tea. She’s the quiet girl with her music turned up loud (or impossibly quiet), separating the two of you by an ocean of crescendos and decrescendos as she’s thinking of the perfect words.

Don’t lie to her. She’ll understand the syntax behind your words. She’ll be disappointed by your lies, but a girl who writes will understand. She’ll understand that sometimes even the greatest heroes fail, and that happy endings take time, both in fiction and reality. She’s realistic. A girl who writes isn’t impatient; she will understand your flaws. She will cherish them, because a girl who writes will understand plot. She’ll understand that endings happen for better or for worst.

A girl who writes will not expect perfection from you. Her narratives are rich; her characters are multifaceted because of interesting flaws. She’ll understand that a good book does not have perfect characters; villains and tragic flaws are the salt of books. She’ll understand trouble, because it spices up her story. No author wants an invincible hero; the girl who writes will understand that you are only human.

If you find a girl who writes, keep her close. If you find her at two AM, typing furiously, the neon gaze of the light illuminating her furrowed forehead, place a blanket gently on her so that she does not catch a chill.

When you are afraid of the dark, she will guide you, her words turning into lanterns, turning into lights and stars and candles that will guide you through your darkest times. She’ll be the one to save you.
 
She has imagination and she has courage, and it will be enough. She’ll be your firebird and she’ll be your knight, and she’ll become your world, in the curve of her smile.
Maybe she’s not the best at grammar, but that is okay.

Date a girl who writes. 

Because there is nothing better than a girl who writes.

Are you okay?

It starts with one lie “I am fine” or “Everything is okay” or “No problems, trust me.” But who are we kidding? Sometimes it is the truth. Are you sure?

 A simple question, “Are you okay?” can make you think over the answer again? You would be taken aback by the answer you get for this silly question, a long list of things that make you scream and shout out to the world and say, “NOTHING IS ALRIGHT. I AM FREAKING DROWNING HERE SO SOMEONE SAVE ME NOW.”

You realize that a friend you used to consider so dear because of a stupid silly thing called love now behaves weird and distant, like you both are at war. You used to blame other people that they are the ones who do not communicate and they are the ones responsible for creating problems between everyone. But when you come to know that you are the real problem, then what?

How much ever a person tries they cannot force words into someone’s mouth. At one point whatever is in the heart comes out. One day the truth they you had long bottled up and abandoned in the corner of your heart comes back to light and spills a secret so dark and vicious, that poison is an understatement for it.

You try to act all brave and normal that all this doesn’t affect you, but all this is pretence. In reality, you hurt like shit. When you are successful to find a reasonable solution a fear of “What will people think?” comes in your mind. A part of you says “Screw them. Why do you care?” But hell yes, I do. Because it’s just not my life that is dependent on it, many others are stuck with me in that sinking ship.

The point is, one simple question can make you wonder. It can make you realize that you actually are not okay and you have SO many troubles. But hey, that’s life right? One question is enough to make you realize your mistake so you don’t commit them twice.

So today ask yourself, “Are you okay?”

Numb.

Have you ever felt numb, so weak that you think that any moment your heart will collapse? Ever wanted the earth to open up and engulf you within it so that you can rest for eternity? Ever wanted lightning to strike you so that you can turn to ash and all you drift away with the wind or disappear in the water? Ever wondered how it would be like to burn in the lava of hell and watch your body burn, seeing that gruesome event with your eyes, watch your each body part turn to dust and smoke? Ever wished that your bones are hammered into so small pieces and they are crushed to such small extent that they form even finer pieces than salt so that they can dissolve in water?

You have the false hope that pacifies you that one day everything will be alright and someday a bright rainbow will also shine in your life and fill it with the seven colors. Someday a big flood will come in your life and wash away all your sadness and fear and once again there will be a bright new tomorrow. Someday after eating tons of ice cream all the pain will numb and eventually time will heal all wounds.

Well, all this is bullshit. What has to happen will happen, you cannot change the course of anything. All the depression and sadness that has been written in your life will come to you when it is supposed to. It is said when a person laughs a lot, he has cry a lot too. Now I believe this myth.

It is tough to hide your tears from the world so once in a while we should let them flow. Let the world know you are hurting. Being strong and putting up fake smile only shows what a coward you are that you can’t even face your problems and turn your back towards them. How weak you are that instead fighting your problems and getting rid of them you just hide under a shelter and avoid them.

Everyone has to face tough times once in a while. But the person who bravely puts up a resistance against it and overcomes those painful times is the person who will be happy in the future, the one who will survive in this race.

Sorry.

When you hurt someone whom you care about the most, there are no amounts of drinks that can help wash down the guilt and there is no amount of ice cream that can numb the pain.

The damage has been done. The scar has been carved and all the apologies in the world seem to be less. Tears are few to express the hurt that one is going through. No matter how wide your smile is or how enthusiastic and lively your “Hello” is, the fear of the past repeating itself, always lingers like a shadow.

You can’t be selfish and expect that person to be there by your side and care for you, make you smile when you are low help you and support you, and be the pillow to your tears when YOU in return are just going to hurt them, ignore them and be mean to them even if you don’t intend to do so.

I have been this type of a friend and hurt the person I care about the most and somehow I just can’t let go of the thought that I was capable of doing something like this, which I had never imagined in my whole life.

So, my bestie I know I am not the perfect or the best friend you would have ever wanted and I am sorry for that. For causing you the pain.

Sorry.

Love,
-C

Player of emotions.

They say time heals all wounds but I wonder is it true? All those wounds that you had deep hidden and abandoned in a corner, when they resurface all you can do is think and imagine all the ways you could have avoided to hurt yourself. You think of the pain you experienced then and you feel double the pain now. Time may heal certain wounds, but not all.

 

Player of hearts. Player of emotions
How much ever you try to forget and forgive, how many ever chances you give, they seem to take everything for granted. They use you, play with your emotions and repeat the same mistakes again and again. Each time they apologize, your heart melts and you forgive them and give them another chance, but they let you down. We love them and care about them and expect that each time they say that they will never hurt us again; we want to trust, only to find ourselves get hurt. AGAIN.  They don’t care about anyone and don’t care whether during the process of attaining happiness and joy; they are indeed toying with the hearts of their friends.

They go on hurting us and we quietly take all the pain, silently and secretly crying, hiding our emotions from the world and putting on a fake smile.

On a dark night when you’re asleep and you wake up to find the moonlight streaming inside the room and shining upon you, illuminating the dark void of dullness with the bright silver light, you can’t help but smile. In that moment, you just forget about all the pain and swim in the light and eventually drown in the bliss of peaceful moonlight. With the strength from the light, you gulp down all your sorrows and with a strong determination in mind to be happy the next day, you sleep again.

I Believe.

I believe...

I believe that nothing is impossible.
I believe that if you have the support and trust of your family and friends and faith in yourself, nothing can stop you from achieving your goals.
I believe that if you truly love someone, then all you need is some patience and a little bit of hope.

I believe that if we try hard we can overcome all our fears.
I believe that if you truly care about someone then someday they will definitely see this and reciprocate your feelings.
I believe that revenge is not the solution for everything.
I believe that there is nothing like tit for tat.

I believe that true friendship is very hard to find.
I believe that if a person ignores you and does not respect your feelings, then it is waste to spend your time on them.
I believe that people have to pay for all their deeds.

I believe that the day will come, when everything will fall into place.
I believe the day will come when the blindfold of fake love and friendship will leave, and people will be able to identify their true friends.
I believe the day will come when people will realize the importance of people who came into their lives and never left, and will start caring about them treating them with respect.
I believe the day will come when the fake emotions will fade away from a person's face and their true colors will be revealed.

 

I believe that one day people will realize my value in their lives.

I believe that one day, everything will be alright.
I BELIEVE THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN.

I believe in this, what do you believe in? :)

 

Only Thing Left.

"No matter how thick skin we try to be, there's millions of electrifying nerve endings in there opened and exposed and feeling way too much. Try as we might to keep from feeling pain, sometimes it's just unavoidable. Sometimes that's the only thing left."
   -Meredith Grey

This is one of my favorite quotes.

How much ever we try to hide our feelings and make a protective wall around us so that no one can peep a look inside and view the tide of confusion, there is always a crack. A small crack that grows bigger and wider due to the exertion of continuous pressure against it.

The crack grows bigger exposing the tide of emotions to the world and, all at once it flows out. The emotions flow out and we break down. If we have a support system, a friend we can trust, a friend who will guide us during the time of darkness and act as a flashlight always showing the path ahead of us, a friend who will help us stand up when we fall, a friend who will apply medicine on our wounds when we get hurt, he/she is the one that will help us repair that crack and help us build up that wall again.

And never during that process they won’t judge us.

But life plays games. All the things we have ever wanted, they don’t come easy. And if they do, they have a price. And generally the price is the pretty little smile being wiped of our face, making our nice cheerful face, dull and gloomy.

And if during that time, our support system fails? Then, all we have left is isolation and bliss of the cold tears streaming down our face. Thatz when we feel the pain. And sometimes thatz the whole thing left.

Pain.

Happy Birthday! :D

Well, Hello there bestie and Wish you a Happpyyy Birthdaayy. Finally Fifteen ;)

I just cant express how excited I am for your birthday and how much I have been jumping around.

All the time I have spent with you, those moments are the best moments of my life. Like asking you out on Prom day before yesterday in an oh-so-grudge style xD.

You are my Dakota. Aaron’s Dakota :D

You have always been there with me, my honey. My Madhumakhi :D
Your kya boli? Kya boli? Kya boli? Meee!
You’re a loner!! xD
Your awesome obsession with Pierre.
You being crazy about Miranda and VSC ;;))
You and your sexy dream guy :DD (You’ll get him soon ;) )
Your cozy hugs early in the morning and the way you say chakshaa :** , chat :’)

The way we become SO hyper and text SO fast and chat about multiple topics.
The way you give me suggestions which are really effective and at times stupid.
The way we go crazyyy about Grey’s and the wattpad characters.
The way you love Walter Boyss :DD
Our pointless WhatsApp messages.
I will always be grateful to you for being there by my side.
ILove your smile btw ;;)
And that laugh toooo.

Oh, and how last year you used to enact your mother’s laugh.
How we both form the best team and have our crazzyyy mad high-fives.
How we walk in the corridors in the breaks and discuss all serious matters ;;)
How you march during Sport’s Day. Bwahahah xD
The way you run, So adorable and funny xD.
The way you make faces at people and laugh when I am injured.

The way you are there for me even at 3 O’ clock.
Thanks for supporting me and giving me strength when I was low and all sad and depressed.
ThankYouSoMuch for befriending me and considering me worthy to be a part of your life.
A pretty, cutee, cheerful, amazinglyawesome and adorable friend like you deserves someone WAY more better than me.
I trust you so much.
And I know you do too ;)
I will never break that trust.
Our bond is SO strong that NO-ONE will ever break it.
You will be my bessttess friends, my First True Love, Forever.

There are so many more things to say, but I don’t have words to express them.
Oh yeah, also, how you make me smile and blush and the way you hug me and I give that cute little smile and you find it so adorable.
The moment when you look into my eyes and you say you love them.
They way I fit into your embrace SO well and how tall you have grown.
And when I hug you and you smell SO good :O
GOD! SO SEXYY :*
And you look amazing in high ponytail :DD

Mahn. ThankYouSoMuch for everything. My WhatsApp texts are incomplete without you.
Without your smile and you calling me slut/whore.
MY life is SO dull without your pretty laugh and sweet voice.
My life is incomplete without you ABHI. My Honey. My Babe. Mine Forever.
I don’t know what would I do without you?

I guess I wouldn’t be alive and blogging this right now. I know you will never judge me and will always be there for me :”)
You are my life.
ILoveYou.
Forever and Always. <3

Amen.

Let it all out.

I am at a loss of words. My head is spinning, my emotions are a mess, I am acting like a pain-in-the-ass, irritating, troubling and burdening everyone ie. my closest and best friends with my unnecessary sadness. I did not have any words to pen down this volcano of sadness erupting within me but I guess tonight I am just going to go with the flow. No more procrastinating.

Tears.

They are your best stress busters. One whole night of crying, letting the salty taste of tears flood your mouth as they stream down your face, is the best way to let all your emotions burst free.

One night of crying, allows all the pain, sadness, guilt even joy and happiness wash away. The tears take away everything.

They calm you, soothe you in the ways you may have never imagined.

It’s funny how one night, one realization, one fear changes everything. How all the DARKEST things that has ever happened to you or all the dirty crimes you have committed, all the people you have hurt comes haunting back to you. Payback's a Bitch. Revenge.

Twenty four hours. Twenty four hours since I slept. Twenty four hours since this feeling of guilt is following my trail like a lost puppy. Twenty four hours since my heart smiled and felt the warmth and comfort.

 And again, I don’t know how to express myself further :/

So I guess I’ll just stop here. But, it actually helps to cry.

See ya later, alligators.

SriLanka :D

Just a week back I was a ball of emotional mess, wrapped and cuddling under the blanket of anger, frustration and sadness, walking in the shadows, trying my best to get away from the world.

This trip which I was in no mood for was approaching rapidly and I was like, “What good will it do me?”

But this trip just changed everything. The beautiful skies, the soothing sound of the waves crashing on the beach, the glorious sunset that I could see from my window, the comfort of the cozy cushions, the fluffiness of the pillows, the warmth of the small candles in the lounge, the soft yummy juicy chicken melting under your taste buds and the comfort, love and hospitality of the staff of the hotel. But the biggest plus point of this trip was that it gave me time, opportunity to think, to clear my mind of all the garbage that had accumulated in my mind since ages. This trip taught me one thing, “Why bother? Just chill and enjoy life.” Your life is full of colors but it is upto you which one you choose, the blue color of sadness or the yellow color of joy and happiness.

Just breathe in the fresh air of SriLanka and let your mind ponder away. So beautiful, so relaxing.

So, I am really thankful to SriLanka for indirectly helping me and also my parents who took me for this lovely trip.