A different kind of pain.

They say true friendships are forever. But how much of it is really true? Some friends are meant to be for infinity and beyond or forever and always or till the sun shines. Believe it or not and admit it or not once a best friend forever a best friend, because even if you are going through a tensed time, it doesn’t mean your friendship is broken or damaged. It’s just a phase.

Friends are the ones who walk with you on the rough thorn filled paths, they are the candle to your darkness, they are the ones who lighten up your mood and sometimes they are the ones who can even whip that pretty smile off your face.

Certain friends are closer and mean the world to you, but it breaks your heart when they don’t reciprocate the same. It breaks your heart that the person who means so much to you, you hold a very small position in their lives. When you want to feel needed you feel distant. You crave to know what’s happening in their lives, you’re desperate to be there for them, but then the fear of losing them hits you like bricks and you just back off. You can’t even express it to them.

Sometimes you want to pour your heart out to them, but then you realize that they have MANY more friends and you are just not the only one, and even if you want them to be there for you at that moment, you just have to let them go.

It hurts even more when you realize that they are aware of everyone’s emotions but are oblivious to yours. You are on the verge of telling them what’s going through your head, but you end up shutting your mouth and trailing off to another topic. Sometimes you just can’t say it and are too weak to admit it that you miss them and miss the friendship you had. Even if you are still close or say you are still close, why don’t you feel close?

But what happens when you lose the place you used to hold in a certain someone’s life? What happens when you feel like you have been easily replaced by someone else? What happens when you realize you don’t make them happy anymore, when you are not theirs and they are not yours? When you feel empty and lonely without them and even in their presence?

You get that urge to need them back in your life, but sometimes all your attempts fail. Instead of emerging triumphant, you just lose; you lose even the little part of them that belonged to you, in the fear that you don’t lose them.

Feeling and emotional dependence is a really important part of friendship or at least that’s what my friend says. If you have this, your bond is strong and inseparable. But if that one thing is missing or suddenly disappears, I would just say one thing; don’t give up even when your heart wants to, fight for your friendship because even if they may not need you, you need them. Never give up.