Early morning she was heading home from her usual morning walk. But today, something was different.
She was wondering where did she go wrong that today she is in such a condition, suffering to stay happy, craving to bring back joy in her life; she was wondering since when did she find sadness so addictive that now even when she could see a door to happiness awaiting her with open arms, she kicked it shut. She went through her fragile memories which she was preserving to see who she was and what she has become; to check what crime she had committed to have lost everyone. Never had she felt so lonely, never had people wanted to run away from her. Sure, people said that they were there for her but why didn’t anyone ever try to show it to her, prove it to her. She was in a situation where she is always present for everyone but when she needed someone, they would melt into the darkness abandoning her in the somber alley. She did not have words to express the whirlpool of emotions within her and even if she did, she did not have anyone to share it with.
Each day she walked with the wind and basked in the sun but today she was walking against the wind, under the clouds in the drizzle. After a long time she had decided to take a trip down the road and she was surprised to see the serene peace and emptiness on the road.
She was hypnotized by the sound of drums beating in her ears and was oblivious to the lyrics playing. She was lost in her own thoughts wondering and staring at the gravel crunching beneath her feet.
She was wondering where did she go wrong that today she is in such a condition, suffering to stay happy, craving to bring back joy in her life; she was wondering since when did she find sadness so addictive that now even when she could see a door to happiness awaiting her with open arms, she kicked it shut. She went through her fragile memories which she was preserving to see who she was and what she has become; to check what crime she had committed to have lost everyone. Never had she felt so lonely, never had people wanted to run away from her. Sure, people said that they were there for her but why didn’t anyone ever try to show it to her, prove it to her. She was in a situation where she is always present for everyone but when she needed someone, they would melt into the darkness abandoning her in the somber alley. She did not have words to express the whirlpool of emotions within her and even if she did, she did not have anyone to share it with.
She wondered why she liked to take the blame of everything even when at times it wasn’t her fault.
“I guess it gives me a reason to divulge more into sadness and shed a few tears”, she said.
She was forcing herself to walk up the hill even when she was completely exhausted. Exhausted from the fate of life; exhausted from the relentless attempts to be part of everyone’s lives; exhausted from the feeling of losing herself; she was exhausted of life, she wanted to end it, she wanted to drift away to a peaceful sleep.
And that very moment she found that peace and the lights went out.
Amazing!
ReplyDeleteThankYou :D
DeleteAh - you have painted this picture beautifully :-)
ReplyDeleteThankYou :D
DeleteYour blog is really nice too :)
Great writing!
Nice :D
ReplyDeleteThanks TeePee :)
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